IFS for Being Authentic and Genuine in Connection & Closeness (2 hrs) Virtual Drop-In Group

Tending to Our Longing & Heartache:

Being Authentic and Genuine in Connection & Closeness

Join us as we turn towards our heartache and get to know the parts of us that long.

Embrace your inner world. 

A longing for connection and closeness

There is a natural need to be seen, understood, valued, and delighted in, even when we are messy. If you have a longing for companionship----whether romantic or friendship, this exploration will help ground you in this reasonable need.

Being Authentic and Genuine in Connection and Closeness. An IFS intro mini-series.

Through group shares, guided meditation, and other IFS inspired activities we will have opportunities to explore various themes of authenticity and genuineness and practice being in connection and cultivating closeness with each other.

Part one of this drop-in group series will explore who we are at first sight. An exploration of social parts/roles/habits.

Biweekly Sundays: Session 1, April 19 - Session 2, May 3 - Session 3, May 17

Get curious about the parts that protect, perform, or pull away.

When you meet someone new, what happens inside of you?

Are you quiet, reserved, and observant?

Do you get anxious and check out?

Are you chatty and smiley? Are you inclined to be a host, even when you're not in the mood?

Perhaps we have other parts that want us (or things) to be different?

Is it ok to not be the host?

Or what if you could feel more confident and calm in your inclination to step back and observe?

By exploring our social parts, we can begin to:

✦ Break free from automatic roles

Step out of people-pleasing, performing, or withdrawing—and choose how you truly want to show up.

✦ Understand yourself with compassion

Discover the deeper “why” behind your reactions and meet every part of you with clarity, not judgment.

✦ Create more authentic connections

Move beyond being the “easy one” and experience relationships where you feel seen, valued, and met.

✦Notice the part of you that tends to observe quietly, and support it in recognizing that it’s just as valuable and important as any other part.

✦ Feel calm, confident, and grounded

Build a steady inner confidence that isn’t dependent on approval, performance, or getting it “right.”

Personal Story

For a long time I was the fun and helpful one. I liked making people comfortable by showing my interest in them, I am great at cracking a joke and making people smile, I'm good at lending a hand and making myself useful. And so I was liked. And those are all great qualities that I still have.

What I hadn't been aware of, was my compulsion to be only these things.

I was not honoring the parts of me that wanted others to be interested in me, the parts that were serious and not just silly, the parts that were tired and didn't want to be helpful, and I didn't even realize that maybe sometimes I was the one that needed help.

I was afraid to let those parts out, I thought that would cost me connection and closeness. I was afraid that if I wasn't the helpful one, then I wouldn't be valued or have purpose. If I needed help, then maybe I'd be seen as too much. If I was serious and not funny, then maybe I'd be a killjoy.

Through my ongoing IFS work, I’ve built relationships with these parts of myself. Instead of feeling locked into one role, I now have more choice in how I show up.

I can still be fun and helpful—but I can also be real, have needs, and let others show up for me. And as I’ve allowed more of myself to be seen, I’ve found something I didn’t have before—not just being liked, but feeling truly known.

Part two Sharing our experience and resonating together.

Biweekly Sundays: Session 4, May 31 - Session 5, June 14 - Session 6, June 28

It’s about meeting yourself—and others—from a deeper place of honesty and compassion.

An aspect of connection is about getting comfortable being known and seen. We can cultivate trust in ourselves, and others, so we can offer up vulnerability, and open up to receive interest and care. In order to do this, we must be known to ourselves and take the risk of sharing that with others, even if it doesn't go the way we hope. This is brave and courageous.

In part two we will bring our awareness to a current relationship. We will identify and map our parts that are active and then have the opportunity to share and recieve interest and understanding.

✦ Practice being seen—at your own pace

Gently explore what it’s like to share more of yourself, with full permission to go at the pace that feels right for you.

✦ Understand your vulnerability in real time

Notice the parts that show up when you’re invited to open—whether that’s fear, hesitation, curiosity, or longing.

✦ Experience safe, meaningful connection

Engage in a space where interest, care, and genuine connection are offered—and where you can begin to receive them.

✦ Build trust in giving and receiving

Learn to soften protective patterns and allow in support, appreciation, and closeness without losing yourself.

Participation in all activities is voluntary and you are welcome to be present and interested and not choose to share.

Personal Story

Sometimes it’s hard to receive a compliment or care. I’ve had many inner guards that keep positive regard and affection at a distance. I would struggle to fully accept being appreciated, or receiving care without worrying I was taking too much—or that it might eventually be resented.

For most of my life, I wasn’t aware this was happening. I could only feel the subtle push away inside of me—the difficulty of simply saying thank you, or letting in warmth, care, and support.

Through my ongoing IFS work, I’ve been getting to know the parts of me that stay on guard. I’ve learned to respect their wisdom, and also to offer them rest—like “lunch breaks” and “vacations.”

Because underneath the protection, there are more tender parts that long for care and connection. And I’m learning to stay open enough to receive what’s offered, and allow it to truly land.

Things to Know

• Facilitated by Susan Poznyansky, LICSW, Level 2 IFS/IFO therapist

• Click here to learn more about Susan

• Open to the general public (18+), as well as therapists, healthcare, and allied professionals from anywhere

• No IFS experience required

• This is a 2-hour, open, drop-in group offered biweekly on Sundays over 6 weeks

• Dates: April 19, May 3, 17, 31, June 14, 28

• Time: 3–5 pm PDT

• Admission to each virtual session opens 5 minutes before start time and closes 5 minutes after

• $40 per session, or $210 for the full 6-week series (save $30)

• Participants may vary from session to session

• Each session is responsive and tailored to the needs of that group

  
  

What to Expect

• A low-pressure group experience

• No requirement to share or speak

• Camera on or off—whatever feels right for you

• Freedom to fidget, move, lie down, or step away at any time

Important Note

This group is a community offering and not a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, social work, or any healthcare service. Participation does not establish a healthcare relationship. Please refer to the participation agreement at checkout for full details.

Values of This Space

This is a queer-affirming space. Black Lives Matter. ICE out of our neighborhoods. All are welcome here.

What to Bring

Yourself (and friends, if you’d like)

A journal, paper, pens, or colored pencils

I look forward to meeting you.

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Love Podcasts!?!

I was interviewed about Longing and Heartache. Give it a listen!

On That Wellness Podcast with Natalie Deering:

https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/podcast/episode/db22eb57/the-parts-of-us-that-long-an-ifs-exploration-of-longing-and-heartache-with-susan-poznyansky 

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