NEW! IFS Drop-in Group: Being Authentic and Genuine in Connection & Closeness (2 hrs)

Tending to Our Longing & Heartache:

Being Authentic and Genuine in Connection & Closeness

Join us as we turn towards our heartache and get to know the parts of us that long.

Embrace your inner world. 

A longing for connection and closeness

There is a natural need to be seen, understood, valued, and delighted in, even when we are messy. If you have a longing for companionship----whether romantic or friendship, this exploration will help ground you in this reasonable need.

Being Authentic and Genuine in Connection and Closeness. An intro mini-series.

Through group shares, guided meditation, and other IFS inspired activities we will have opportunities to explore various themes of authenticity and genuineness and practice being in connection and cultivating closeness with each other.

Part one of this drop-in group series will explore who we are at first sight.

Biweekly Sundays: Session 1, April 19 - Session 2, May 3 - Session 3, May 17

Get curious about the parts that protect, perform, or pull away.

When you meet someone new, what happens inside of you? Are you quiet, reserved, and observant? Do you get anxious and check out? Are you chatty and smiley? Are you inclined to be a host? Do you strive to include people, even when you're not in the mood?

Perhaps we have other parts that want us (or things) to be different?

Is it ok to not be the host?

What if you could feel more confident and calm in your inclination to step back and observe?

We will get to know these parts and honor their positive intent. Then we will explore parts that wish things were different. Where did we get the idea that things would be better if they were different? What gets in the way of things being different?

Through this insight building we will feel into self-confidence and self-compassion and cultivate spaciousness and choice.

Personal Story

For a long time I was the fun and helpful one. I liked making people comfortable by showing my interest in them, I am great at cracking a joke and making people smile, I'm good at lending a hand and making myself useful. And so I was liked. And those are all great qualities that I still have.

What I hadn't been aware of, was my compulsion to be only these things.

I was not honoring the parts of me that wanted others to be interested in me, the parts that were serious and not just silly, the parts that were tired and didn't want to be helpful, and I didn't even realize that maybe sometimes I was the one that needed help.

I was afraid to let those parts out, I thought that would cost me connection and closeness. But not letting those parts out, also cost me connection and closeness. I inevitably attracted people that liked the fun, silly, kind, and helpful parts of me. An easy person. And when I needed to be serious, or had my own needs, or wanted to share something of my own that was special, there was no space for that.

When relationships fell apart, of course protector parts would come in and be angry, maybe blame the person, or want to fix the person, or blame myself for making bad choices.

Through my own IFS work (which I still continue) I've been able to develop a deeper understanding of these parts, increase self-compassion, self-confidence, and have more choice about what comes forth throughout the time of a relationship.

Part two Sharing our experience and resonating together.

Biweekly Sundays: Session 4, May 31 - Session 5, June 14 - Session 6, June 28

It’s about meeting yourself—and others—from a deeper place of honesty and compassion.

An aspect of connection is about getting comfortable being known and seen. We can cultivate trust in ourselves, and others, so we can offer up vulnerability, and open up to receive interest and care. In order to do this, we must be know to ourselves and take the risk of sharing that with others, even if it doesn't go the way we hope. This is brave and courageous.

In part two we will bring our awareness to a current relationship. We will identify and map our parts that are active. You will be invited to share these parts with the group. Whether you choose to share out or not, you can bring awareness to what comes up inside of you when you're invited to be vulnerable. As participants share, we can bring awareness to the parts of us that show up during vulnerability. There will be opportunities to offer interest, delight, and care to participants who are open to explore receiving connection and leaning into closeness.

Participation in all activities is voluntary and you are welcome to be present and interested and not choose to share.

Personal Story

Sometimes it's hard to receive a compliment or care. I had many guards that would keep positive regard and care at bay. I could not accept being delighted in. I could not accept being cared for without worrying I'm taking advantage of others or that they would resent me in the end.

Most of my life I didn't have the awareness that this was happening. I could just feel the push away inside of me. The inability to just say thank you or receive warmth, care, and support.

Through IFS work I continue to get to know the parts of me that are on guard. I'm learning to respect the wisdom of the guards and to also give them "lunch breaks" and "vacation time." Because underneath the push away, there are tender parts that are longing for care and connection and I want to take the opportunities that are offered to fill my own cup.

Things to know

*Facilitated by Susan Poznyansky, LICSW, Level 2 IFS/IFO therapist

Click here to learn more about Susan

*For the general public 18 yrs old+, and therapists/ health care and allied professionals from anywhere.

*No IFS experience required

*This is a 2 hour, open, drop-in group offered biweekly on Sundays for 6 weeks.

Dates: April 19, May 3, 17, 31, June 14, 28

Time 3-5 pm PDT

*Admission into each virtual session will open 5 minutes before and close 5 minutes after start time.

*Each session is $40, or buy the whole 6 week series for $210 ($30 discount).

*Participants will likely vary from session to session.

*A variety of activities and experiences will be tailored to reflect the needs of each session's participants.

*This is a low pressure group experience. You do not have to share/ speak, you can have your camera on or off, you can fidget, walk, wiggle, lay down, and leave the group at any time.

*This group is a community offering. It is not social work, psychotherapy, counseling, or a healthcare of any kind. Participation does not intitiate a healhcare relationship. See participation agreement at checkout.

*This is a queer affirming space, Black Lives Matter, ICE out of our neighborhoods. All are welcome here.

What should you bring?

*Yourself! Your friends! Share with clients!

*Paper, pencil/pens, color pencils, journal

I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Love Podcasts!?!

I was interviewed about Longing and Heartache. Give it a listen!

On That Wellness Podcast with Natalie Deering:

https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/podcast/episode/db22eb57/the-parts-of-us-that-long-an-ifs-exploration-of-longing-and-heartache-with-susan-poznyansky 

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